A Dozen Red Flags of a Hot Mess IEP Meeting :o

For many parents, the annual IEP meeting is something that incites a great sense of overwhelm, frustration and doom. This is probably one of the reasons that tons of parents don’t even show up. Most of you might find this really hard to believe (because you’re passionately involved in your child’s education), but it’s true, there are schools where less than 25% of the families attend the annual IEP meeting ☹

This not only has a negative effect on their own child’s education, but it impacts other families as well. Think about it… If you are the only parent asking for paraprofessional support so that your child can be successfully included in a regular classroom, that could be the reason they look at you like you’re a crazy person as they tell you that, “Nobody gets that here.” When we ALL show up, systemic change is possible.

 

LOOK OUT!

There are some things to watch out for when it comes to IEP meetings. Being familiar with these in advance will help you recognize what’s possible and how to circumvent certain issues BEFORE they pop up:

 

-          The school calls to set the annual meeting within 3-5 days of the due date. This generally means that they nearly forgot all about you and are scrambling to get it done, OR they typically wing-it and don’t put much thought or emphasis into planning in advance.

-          If you’re in a school district that gives parents a draft of the IEP a week before the meeting, and it’s nowhere to be found, this is cause for concern.

-          The goals in the IEP, or worse yet, the Present Level of Performance, has another student’s name in it. This means that it’s a copy and paste and that the plan isn’t as “individualized” as you might think.

-          The Present Level of Performance only includes testing data from the assessment that they MUST do for all students – state standardized tests. But tests that actually show how your child thinks or what they CAN do are not included.

-          You get to the meeting, and they inform you that they have 30 minutes to get an annual IEP done when this is the first time you’re seeing any information on current assessments or the proposed goals.

-          Before you get to the meeting, the person who runs your IEP meetings tells you that the services will remain as is. That’s called Predetermination and is not permitted in IEP meetings. Do NOT let this happen.  Your input is required under federal law.

-          Goals are generic and you’re not really sure what will be measured to determine if the goal has been mastered. This could be like, “Johnny will know how to make new friends in a year’s time.”

-          There are missing members of the IEP team, or they breeze in and out while the meeting is taking place. The IEP team has 5 required members – for ALL IEP teams (parent/student, general education teacher, special education teacher, local education agency representative, evaluation specialist)

-          You ask for data supporting the claims of the IEP, and team members look at one another as though to say, “You have that information, right?”

-          The same goals appear on your IEP year after year. Students are covered by a law that says that they should make meaningful progress, which is different for each kid, but “meaningful” is not what the supreme court refers to as “de minimis”, which is an ever-so-slight improvement.

-          No one seems to have any answers when you ask, “What else can be done to help my son learn how to read?” (or other areas of learning)

-          Every IEP meeting should include discussion about inclusive education, no matter who your child is and what their needs are. After all, the goal of special education in general is to give kids what they need SO THAT they can be more prepared for a regular education environment. Waiting for the child to change who they are is NOT the answer. It’s the system that needs to change to accommodate the needs of the child. Some kids are included all day, some for just a portion, but the goal for all kids is to move in the direction of the least restrictive environment. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

Remember that the IEP is a federally enforced document that gives you and your child protections like nothing else can. If it’s not written, it’s as if it wasn’t discussed, so don’t just talk about it… document it. A great way to do that is to utilize the Parent Input section, which is HUGELY important. Here is where you want to document what your concerns are, what you think your child needs and what you’re providing outside of the school setting. Oftentimes, when a parent puts their concerns and requests in this section, it motivates the rest of the team to get more creative in securing the education that your child deserves. 

Need some guidance?  https://staceyhoaglund.com/

Recognizing And Responding To Anxiety In Children With Special Needs

 Although most of us don’t need hard-core evidence on the topic, Dr Lawrence Fung from Stanford Medicine states, “Anxiety is a very common co-occurring condition in the neurodiverse community. About 20 to 30% of male adults on the spectrum have anxiety disorder. Females with autism spectrum condition have even higher rates of anxiety. The prevalence of anxiety is up to 40% in females on the spectrum. In some clinics the prevalence of anxiety in patients on the spectrum is even higher (up to 80 or 90%).”

While this study was specifically focused on autism, we know that people who learn and process the world in a different way than most, experience higher levels of anxiety. After all, why wouldn’t they? Everywhere we go we hear that anxiety is off the chain! Sometimes we forget that kids with disabilities deal with the same crazy world as the rest of us, but oftentimes without the knowledge of why things happen the way they do, which could make the world a whole lot scarier.

Signs of Anxiety

When we consider what would be noticeable in the average person who’s experiencing anxiety, we might see:

• Recurring fears and worries
• Irritability
• Trouble concentrating
• Strong desire for sameness (sometimes to an obsessive degree)
• Extreme self-consciousness or sensitivity to criticism
• Withdrawal from social activity
• Avoidance of difficult or new situations
• Chronic complaints about stomachaches or headaches
• Drop in grades or school refusal
• Repeatedly seeking reassurance
• Sleep problems

Sound familiar? I am guessing your answer is, “Yes.” If we know that the average person is experiencing these things, imagine what a child who cannot express themselves must be feeling. It is important, however, to separate behavior that’s part of typical child development from an anxiety issue, such as a 2-year-old having a tantrum when their parents go to work or when there’s an unexpected loud noise. Not feeling well also needs to be ruled out before assuming your child is dealing with an anxiety issue. A quick trip to your pediatrician is a good first step.

Take the ABC Path

When a behavior analyst starts to consider the development of a positive behavior intervention plan, the first thing they do is look for the antecedent/behavior/consequence, or ABC. If you can identify what is causing the anxiety by looking at the antecedent, or the thing that came before the expression of anxiety, this should help you create the interventions that will help your particular child. In the same manner that not all kids like the same foods, not all strategies are gonna work for everyone. Sometimes a trial-and-error process is required.

Some of the things that could very easily cause, or grow, anxiety in children with disabilities are their need for sameness, poor communication skills, inability to process information at the rate that the teacher is delivering the instruction, fine motor skills that are not yet adequate enough to get paper-pencil tasks done, deficits in understanding socially appropriate behaviors and how to engage with other children in a way that is expected. With all those barriers in place, how could they not have anxiety?

Where to begin…..

The good news is that there are strategies that can be implemented in both the home and the school to help reduce the feelings that lead to anxiety. Start by identifying activities that bring a sense of relaxation or calm. Chances are good that you yourself already use some of these when you get stressed out in traffic, or during IEP meetings 😮 Practice these coping strategies together when you and your child are calm, so you’ll be familiar with them when anxiety strikes. You do NOT want to push your child to breathe deeply when they are in a full-blown episode of anxiety. Here are some things you can try:

• Model the behavior you wish to see – if you’re stressed out, your child is HIGHLY likely to be the same.
• Grab some headphones to block out sounds or listen to music.
• Use less words at a quieter tone and more visuals than usual. How many of us turn the car radio off when we are in a dangerous driving situation? There’s a reason for that.
• Go for a walk (down the hallway or around the block)

• Count up or count down.
• Teach emotions. There’s a great program called Little Spot that I see working well with kids, and no, I don’t make any money by recommending it. Lol
• Squeeze a stress ball or therapy putty (OTs are great with regard to self-regulation strategies)
• Give hugs, cuddles or a weighted blanket or vest.
• Think about a favorite thing or place.
• Draw.

• Use social stories for anything that you think they might not be sure of. These are especially helpful when there are changes in routine (ideally before the change takes place).
• Identify and label a “safe space” or “quiet area” where they can catch a break but be sure to build in parameters (amount of time they spend there), or it could easily be used as an escape.

• Teach deep breathing. For some of us, closing our eyes during deep breathing makes this a 3-pointer. And if your kids can visualize a place they love to spend time, even better!
• EXERCISE. I’m a huge proponent of this one. I don’t know how I would function without my gym time. When my son was young, 10 jumping jacks would be all he would need to regroup his focus, reduce his stress, and get his juices flowing again.
• Role-play any or all of the above. Carve out time each day, or even once a week, to practice ways to reduce anxiety and deal with the stressors of everyday life.

Here’s a BONUS – We know that kids who spend more time on tech have higher levels of anxiety. Research tells us that it causes reduced attention spans, decreased patience, less social development, public judgement and compare and despair via social media, and insomnia, each of which can easily increase irritability and anxiety. If you’ve got a child who loves to watch the same videos over and over again, be mindful that they can become very obsessive (play-rewind-play-rewind), which in itself can cause increased anxiety. Monitor your child’s use of technology and ensure that there is an equal dose of outdoor play each day.

No one wants to suffer through bouts of anxiety, but in today’s world, it’s difficult to escape. However, with some sound strategies and loving support, we can all learn to deal with some of the hurdles that lie before us.